stream: make stream.destroy with callback API public

[ronag]

This makes the stream.destroy(err, callback) API public.

Additionally it makes some changes:

• The callback is always (see TODO) invoked with the same behavior as eos
• The callback is no longer immediately invoked if destroy has already been invoked (but not actually completed).
• The error is assumed to be handled and uncaughException is
  suppressed.
• The callback timing is the same regardless whether destroy
  has already been called or not. (see TODO)
• The callback is always invoked asynchronously.
• The callback used to be invoked before emitting 'error' and/or
  'close'. (see TODO)

Also fixes a bug for fs streams where the callback to close(cb) could either be invoked synchronously or before the stream was actually closed. Likewise during errored destruction with implementations that use stream commons writeGeneric.

This is made possible by #31509

This affects a non-public API which is used internally at the following locations:

• https://github.com/nodejs/node/blob/master/lib/internal/fs/streams.js#L275
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/blob/master/lib/internal/stream_base_commons.js#L154
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/blob/master/lib/internal/stream_base_commons.js#L93

Checklist

• make -j4 test (UNIX), or vcbuild test (Windows) passes
• tests and/or benchmarks are included
• documentation is changed or added
• commit message follows commit guidelines

[ronag]

This is useful for bringing destroy of e.g. http requests inline with streams, since they essentially wrap a socket and need to call socket.destroy(err, callback) in any potential _destroy implementation.

[ronag]

Giving this some more thought I think it's better to revisit properly after #29179